Jack and Newt are Almost Friends and Our Home is Filled With Poison Gas.

It’s been a few weeks now since our little family has expanded to include Jack, the Dog.  Jack is still trying his very best to catch Newt.  Newt is trying his very best to torture Jack.  They go round and round all day long, taking a few naps in between.  Then they start back up again.  It’s like living in a Tom & Jerry cartoon.


Jack has not had any “accidents” in the house in well over a week.  I think we have found a good schedule for him.  Maybe not so much for us, since he requires a 0500 potty break as well as an 0800 break.  But, my husband is an early riser and I think he actually likes having a short walk in the morning before work.  It also gives me time to drink some coffee and develop the ability to speak in full sentences.

Things are going well.  However, there is one issue.  Jack has gas.  I do not mean just an occasional toot, I mean the dog farts like he is a grown man.  All day and night.  Sometimes he passes gas so loud that it wakes him up, and he looks around as if to find the person responsible! Our house smells like it is full of preteen boys! Last week it wasn’t so noticeable as the temps outside were in the 70’s and 80’s so we had all of the windows open.  This week the temps have dropped a bit, and I only open the windows briefly for the daily Frische Luft (Fresh Air.  I think that opening the windows regardless of temperature, or precipitation is mandated by German Law, or at least by German grandparents).  So, without the windows wide open I am worried I may suffocate from the fumes coming from Jack the Dog.  I have resorted to wearing sweaters and my vest indoors to stay warm so that I can leave my windows wide open.

We have mentioned the issue to our Vet, who is a family friend.  She thinks it funny as hell.  She did however, send off a stool sample to see if there is a more serious issue at hand causing the toxic fumes to come out of my dog.  We will get the results in a few days.

In the meantime  we have started Jack on a diet of plain Greek yogurt and his food.(Top of the line dog food.  He eats better than we do.)  We did a few days of just rice and yogurt, it helped a slight bit, but then he just had rice scented farts.  Only slightly improved from the dog food scented gas he is currently blasting.

Jack does not seem bothered in the slightest by his odor.  He is happy, playful and very busy chasing Newt.

Tomorrow I have workmen coming to the apartment to work on the heating system.  My German language skills are dismal, so having workers in the house causes me a little stress on a normal day.  I am not able to speak fluently with them.  Now, I have to add the fact that my house will stink to the sky and I will not be able to explain that it is my dog passing gas, not me!

We live in a small town.  I can only image the gossip that may result from this visit.

“Hey Hans”

“Yes, Jurgen.”

“You know that American woman who doesn’t speak much German?”


“Well, I had to work in their apartment the other day.”


“She farts like a man!!”


Anyone else out there with a stinky dog?  Any advice on how to tame this beast??

47 thoughts on “Jack and Newt are Almost Friends and Our Home is Filled With Poison Gas.

  1. Sometimes it’s their food that is the culprit. Animals have issues digesting certain things and such too. Sometimes it doesn’t me latter how expensive or high end a food is, there could still be something in it that he can’t digest or is even allergic to.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh I hear you – or is that I smell you, no that doesn’t sound right. I’m just glad they haven’t a smell-a-blog plugin on WordPress yet for you to share. Actually a plugin may be what you need, anally speaking. Dog has his moments and we gave into to Vet advice (aka the daughter’s) and now feed him fresh chicken. Bloody hell, what does that dog cost us? Still in olfactory terms it’s working – as one of my father’s many aphorisms had it ‘he’s about as popular as a fart in a phonebox’ – and believe me, around us in south London phone-boxes are about as fragrant as a Donald Trump tweet, doubling as they do as single use urinals so one of Dog’s bloofs would be competing with strong competition to be the most unpopular.
    Loving your blog btw.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Are you sure Newt has not been following the Jack around, occasionally squirting from an aerosol of foul-smelling odour then hiding, in a dastardly but cunning scheme to make you blame the dog for it?

    I wouldn’t be surprised… cats are evil and pretty sneaky.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Jack is GORGEOUS, I love his mask!! My brother’s huskies do have fairly noxious gas, you KNOW when they have tooted haha. If he is otherwise fine -passing bowel movements regularly, still eating as normal, no unusual bloating- it’s probably nothing. Although we also feed our dogs Acana grain free dog food (typically $85/month for a husky) plus probiotic supplements, the stink is there. Kinda like people- some humans have AWFUL gas, too haha!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. You could try Jack on charcoal dog biscuits, see if that helps?

    As long as the dog farts smell of dog food – you should be ok. Alternatively get Dirk to draw a sign “Beware of the Dog (farts) with a cartoon – for safe measure. That might get you off the hook?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I have greyhounds, a breed famous for their gas. Trust me, I empathize. Recommended product: Dog Smog Remedy, by Happytails. Just a few sprays into their mouth (or in their water, but I always spray directly in their mouth for immediate results and because I’m mad at the butt stank) freshens breath and makes for less gas from both ends! (According to the bottle, it works on husbands too….)

    We buy it from amazon, but also find it in all sorts of pet stores and pet supply websites, so I’m sure you can find it somewhere.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Well I have two dogs but I can’t help you because thankfully my dogs don’t have the issue. Good luck! Lol

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Im laughing so much i spilled my tea. Hope you don’t die with all that gas…We feed our two girls on a grain free diet…no wheat, no gluten no rice….they eat meat and veg…yoghurt…plain….coconut oil, blueberries….

    Liked by 1 person

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