Monday Memories: My Search for Sleep and a Near Drowning

Many, many years ago, I returned to school to obtain my second college degree.  My youngest daughter was just a year old when I started back to earn my nursing degree.  I thought I would loose my mind with two young daughters and trying to manage nursing school.  But, I lived through it, and managed to earn my degree as well.

After graduating and passing my NCLEX, I started working night shift in the Emergency Department.  This was not the norm, after graduating, new nurses were usually hired to work on the floor.  But I got lucky. There were just three of us New Grads that were allowed into the department at that time.  It was the first time that this particular ER hired New Grads.  I had a great orientation that lasted almost six months and then, I was set free to fly on my own.

Right around that time I developed some insomnia.  Severe insomnia.  The combination of the stress of parenting young children, working in a busy ER as a New Grad, and having a terrible marriage situation fueled my inability to sleep.

I bought black out curtains, and it helped, a little. I purchased some ear plugs, not much help there as they always fell out.  The room was kept cool, I didn’t have a cell phone at the time, so I didn’t use any screens or such before bed.  I tried everything that was suggested.  A glass of wine, yep tried it.  Something stronger, you bet I did.  Scented candles, hot baths, lavender body lotion, yes, yes, and yes.  Nothing was helping.

I wasn’t able to sleep more that an hour or two at a time.  I was a zombie and it was dangerous for me to be driving, working and/or taking care of my kids let alone critically ill people.  Finally, I went to my doctor, and he prescribed a prescription sleep medicine called Ambien.

When I got home, I put fresh sheets on my bed.  Ran a hot bath, and lit some scented candles.  I wanted to set up a relaxing situation so there was no chance that I wouldn’t be able to sleep.

Then, I took the Ambien pill, and climbed into the hot bath. *

6 hours later, I woke up in the bathtub filled with cold water.  Naked, and cold, with my head just above the water. The candles had burned down to the end and smelled like a near fire. My legs were numb from sleeping in a ridiculous position. (I am 6 ft tall and do not easily fit into a standard bath tub without folding up like a card table.)  I struggled to pull myself out of the tub, and slid awkwardly out onto the bathmat, like a slippery butterball turkey trying to make it’s last getaway on Thanksgiving day.

I laid there awhile, waiting for the feeling to come back to my legs so that I could stand.  The realization came to me as I laid naked and shivering on the bathmat, that I had nearly down myself in the hopes of getting a good night’s sleep.  But stronger than that realization was another, the one where I realized that I HAD gotten a good nights sleep!

*Yes, I know that I am a nurse and should know better that this.  Yes, I know that the box tells you NOT to do something like this.  However, as I said, I was a ZOMBIE who had not slept a decent night in weeks if not months, my thought process was not what it should have been.  I would have sold a kidney if someone could have promised me some good sleep at that point.

Thankfully, these days, no one is at risk of death if I do not get enough sleep. My family just has to deal with my sleep deprived grumpiness.  I no longer take prescription sleep medicines as I have found that Valerian, or Balrian as it is called here in Germany work quite well for me.

Thanks to my dear cousin, Sandy, for reminding me of this story.  Please wish her all the luck in the world in getting some sleep herself.

Anyone else have a similar story after taking Ambien?  I know several people who get up and cook full meals, or eat everything in the Fridge and then blame the kids.